Semester 5 // A self reflection + rant

20 November 2016

Hi, this semester is killing me, but I'm not giving up.

but I kinda still wanna rant.

because ranting feels good, and twitter has a 120 cap going on, so yeah.

I actually noticed that I'm constantly ranting about how I'm gonna fail the semester throughout my past 5 sems, but this is probably the first time I'm so close to my datelines yet so far from making any progress. Y'know I've grown so used to crying over my assignments during the previous sems, at some point, I just stopped?

The reason I stopped was simple. Every time I cry over an assignment, my eyes go puffy the next day - it was not cute. But I was very tired of making time. I just had to cry from the stress and lack of sleep. Often times I even questioned why I'm in a design course when I can't draw well. (people legit ask me this: why you in design when you don't even draw?? IDK)

A heads up though, no matter how much you think design isn't all about drawing, being able to draw saves you a ton of time. All my "I can't draw buddies" can relate. To deliver the results we hand up for our work, within the same time span as everyone else, we had to redraw that same thing 10 times just to match everyone else's standards. (and most of the time, we don't even match lol) But was all that worth it? It depends. Til today, I'm not sure was it worth it either. Perhaps I'll update my thoughts on this after I land my first job.

So what exactly am I blogging about today? I don't know either haha. I've kinda decided to write this post because after 6 months of not crying over assignments, I cried two nights ago. (over assignments) and it felt great the next morning.

I guess I just wanted to write.

To my dear self, never stop loving yourself. Always remember there are people out there that cherishes and values you (no matter how much you suck in making time for them now because you value sleep and health a little more now) There is always a backup route in life, your cgpa isn't everything even though 90% of the time you think it is. There are alternatives to scholarships. Sleep early tonight, wakeup earlier tomorrow and start work. Good night. 

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